do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
