I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
