so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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