How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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