What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize