so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
