that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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