Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
