did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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