You work out of a Hotel?
the day after is always just damage control
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
