Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
