TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
