lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
