i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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