now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
