I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
