when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
