yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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