i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if only i could text you this smell
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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