you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
