what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
