I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
