so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
