So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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