oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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