I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
