Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
