Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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