He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize