too bad you live with your parents still
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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