I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
