you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
