its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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