i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
