Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
