So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
