you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
