Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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