i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
