who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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