dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
