I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We need to get me chipped asap
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
