New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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