think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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