Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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