Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize