we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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