i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm always down for nudity.
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