Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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