she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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