Well douche your snatch and let's go!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
