So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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