she woke up with a sticky ear
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
