So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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