For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
