Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
