He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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