Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm bleeding and have questions
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
