Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
