Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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