a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we're chasing vodka with high fives
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
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