it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
