i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
