at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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