I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
