I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
