I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
