Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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