Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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