you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
