Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
